palate

2006-12-03T23:50:00.000-08:00

Re assurance
when I know my best friend and me are in the same boat; actually, when I learn, half the globe is in the same boat; actually, even when an aunty on the road is in the same road…its reassuring
- my mum’s number flashing on my cell
- as I pass the temple on way to work
- a hot cup of coffee warming my palms
- my supervisor’s leave application
- my car …especially in the morning, waiting for me to get in and lock in the gears
- my cell phone in my bag...after much groping & panic
- a wintry day feeling warm
- sinking into comfy shoes
- afternoon coffee at home
- when the television rain disappears, after much banging
- a pile of crisp laundry a wet nose!

2006-11-22T22:23:00.000-08:00

Friends
- friends are curently family
- also, some times a duty…to be kept in touch with
- many I have lost touch with; and this is a regret
- an affrimation of the person I am

Love
- is elsuive
- am not sure of its dimensions ; its drivers
- don’t knowif its comfort; or madness

Men
- are beyond me
- have to be older than me
- not always good; but some of them are angels
- am confused about them

Work
- is stressful
- challenging
- eats up all my day
- comes first as as a priority, despite not being one
- is not really my competency
- has to give me a sense of being a performer

Wine
- makes me think of my mum
- and other classy stuff

Fun
- playing with dogs
- going for a week end holiday
- a long week end
- spending time with a favourite person
- watching a movie either on a lap top or 70 mm
- cracking a great ppt (presentations, you ignoramus-es!!)
- getting better / ahead of someone
- gettin lots of social calls
- neemrana

Views
- stand up for what is right
- punctuality at work is more important than punctuality at any other point… even quitting work on time is punctuality
- appear smart even if you arent – but get your figures right
- be kind to really old people and animals
- don’t be taken for granted
- give grief to others, if they are being unjust to you
- stand tall; speak clear; believe in Karma

2006-09-19T07:32:00.000-07:00

Come live with me and be my love... Christopher Marlowe

Come live with me and be my love,
And we will all the pleasures prove
That valleys, groves, hills, and fields,
Woods or steepy mountain yields.
And we will sit upon the rocks,
Seeing the shepherds feed their flocks,
By shallow rivers to whose falls
Melodious birds sing madrigals.
And I will make thee beds of roses
And a thousand fragrant posies,
A cap of flowers, and a kirtle
Embroidered all with leaves of myrtle;
A gown made of the finest wool
Which from our pretty lambs we pull;
Fair lined slippers for the cold,
With buckles of th purest gold;
A belt of straw and ivy buds,
With coral clasps and amber studs:
And if these pleasures may thee move,
Come live with me and be my love.
The shepherds' swains shall dance and sing
For thy delight each May morning:
If these delights thy mind may move

2006-09-11T02:36:00.000-07:00

Rain tree
Dripped in water beads…proud in its lushness
A tree spreads to kiss a heavy sky

2006-09-11T02:21:00.000-07:00

Siam Calling ...
I recently did a trip to Bangkok and my fun messages:
Thai are young, carefree and un perturbed people
They are simple in thought and action – and don’t spend time making life difficult either for themselves or others
You can look smart even if you are not pencil slim, in branded clothes and with big eyes and a sharp pointed nose
Hospitality comes easily to the Thai … Food is exceptional and served with generosity and low pretense …
Do try their pepper crab and sea basket @ “Sea Food International…Sukhumvit”… its an old pretty house …gracious and charming and tucked away from the main line traffic
A lot of smiles and “swadeeka” make up for the lack of any coherent conversation
Do see “Anna and the King of Siam”…if you haven’t already … and see the version with Yul Brynner & Kate Hepburn Shopping is amazing … except you cant wear their clothes…an Indian “S” equals a Thai “XL”…sad but true. But you can shop for trinkets, knick knacks, cosmetics, shoes and sex.

2006-08-28T22:15:00.000-07:00

i am thinking about...
Rather mundane stufff… where life is headed; when am I going to get married; what about my job? What about my friends?
i said..
please don’t worry about not attending a program … to a colleague who was not invited
i want to...to quit my job; go to triveni for lazy lunches; sleep late; not feel out of control
i wish...
I could run away
i hear...
that you are competent worker – and a decent person and nice looking and men find you attractive
i wonder...
about what its going to be like when I am 40. have i found the right job? Do I miss the task of my old job, but not the evnviroment?. Have I made the right choice?
i regret...
not having listened to my parents (sometimes) & not kept in touch with some dear friends & perhaps hurt some people
i am...
a little girl who still believes in fairy talesi dance...thinking everyone is watching me
i sing...
only english songs coz I feel hindi songs brings out my bad accent. But I also hum while washing
i cry...
easily on little things. And sometimes cant on big things.
i am not always...
original
i make with my hands...
sometimes comfort and love
i write...
because it fulfils my concept of me
i confuse...
Between right and left and I have to always stick my hand out to know.Also between grief for a concept or genuine love for a person
i need…
a fairy tale to unfold now

2006-08-25T02:07:00.000-07:00

Numbers.

I am 29. I work 5 days a week. My telephone number is 10 digits. My salary is in 6 figures. My office is 2 kms away from home. I have only 1 car and 2 bank accounts. I have 4 weeks to launch a radio channel. My waist size needs to drop by 2 inches. I can’t have more than 1 drink. I am rushing for a meeting at 4.30 pm. I live 99 lives!!

2006-08-25T01:58:00.000-07:00

Words on a random day…

Cold. Coffee. Meeting. Stress. Launch. Mum. Home. Call. Best friend. Lunch. Café. Boss. Dreams. No. call. Say so. Don’t do it. Week end. Chill – should I go for a movie- no movies – maybe theatre si more creative. Very happy. Need to do planning. Pamper. Indulge. When will it happen? When will the bell ring? What next. Dont know. Purple bag. Forever. Want a new perfume. Should I go for the neemrana sale. But I wanted to go lingerie shopping? Also theatre. Should call sanghita. Need to go check out a venue for a research. Tiresome. Hotels make me want to go visit them. Money – happy about the share money. Desperate for an Omega – shall pick it before Bangkok. On migods! photos for the VISA. Enough.

2006-07-29T02:41:00.000-07:00

Actually, Smile …

A stretch of muscles and skin
Triggered by love, money or a kin
Starts a day or closes a day
Sometimes just keeps troubles @ bay
But loveliest of em all is the hidden smile
Which lurks …but yet not seen by a mile
It springs forth in the most magical ways
On sunny, rainy gloomy or happy days

It’s a smile between you and me
When you fumble; or spill your tea
It spreads …
When you clobber me hard,
While I pretend am hopping mad!
It widens …
When I throw a tantrum
N you look thrown off your fulcrum
It gurgles
When I park myself on your bed
& order you around feigning to be bone dead
It escapes
When I feel your chub
& declare you to be lard in a tub
But it really really resounds
Actually…Each time you are around …

2006-07-26T01:25:00.000-07:00

Wicca …

When the soft rain splashes on
…a wet window pane
my cold body feels warm
When the lion roars
…to feed a hungry belly
my skin tingles
When the river crashes
…against a granite rock
my heart soars
When the night unveils
…to the flurry of bats my soul lives…

2006-07-18T22:56:00.000-07:00

YouYou
You are still a whisper on my lips
A feeling at my fingertips
That's pulling at my skin
You leave me when I'm at my worst
Feeling as if I've been cursed Bitter cold within
Days go by and still I think of you Days when I couldn't live my life without you
Days go by and still I think of you
Days when I couldn't live my life without you
Without you Without you
You are still a whisper on my lips
A feeling at my fingertips
That's pulling at my skin
You leave me when I'm at my worst
Feeling as if I've been cursed
Bitter cold within
Days go by and still I think of you
Days when I couldn't live my life without you
Without youWithout you
Days go by and still I think of you
Days when I couldn't live my life without you
Days go by and still I think of you
Days when I couldn't live my life without you
Without you Without youWithout youWithout youWithout you

2006-07-14T04:23:00.000-07:00

My dear person

This is an idea I have been mulling for, for the longest time. I have always wanted to put pen to paper and tell you some more about myself. I know you do feel that you know me real well and I go out of my way to “talk about how open, I am as a person…”well, I am, but there are somethings that just get discovered when you eject them out.

To begin with, I am a sucker of cleanliness, but there are dirt spots in my room, which would put a pig to shame. I am real clean as a person, but also real superficially clean – so if there is dust behind my bed, I put on blinkers, or think that’s beyond my “worry if its clean” zone.

I also keep claiming that I love animals…I do, but also am just a wee bit scared of dogs…particularly the snarly variety. I am also petrified of all types of roaches, reptiles and frogs.

I keep saying that superstitions are bunkum, vaastu shastra is stupid, feng shui does nothing but assuage your guilt…but actually, am wary of black cats crossing my path …shall retrace my steps if I chance on one, do the hanuman chalisa pretty regularly and have visited oily looking palmists for readings.

My computer skills aint that hot either… I falter pretty often… and there are days when I have requested an it guy to sit by my side. I also don’t know how to convert a word file into an adobe.

I don’t know the entire English vocabulary.

I actually do shop @ janpath.

I can enjoy a himmesh reshmayyia song.

And much as I act casual about you, you do matter… in more ways and on more days than I choose to tell you.

2006-07-03T20:26:00.000-07:00

Me...
In the sun dappled pond of my emotions….
There are many shades to the water
A lively shade of deep azure emerald green is the sweetest of em all…
Pure …at the nectar of my being
Ripple it …and it spreads … like sweet, warm wine
Caress it…and laps over you…like a gentle embrace
Challenge it…and it gushes forth … like water from a broken spout
Stroke it … and it loves you right back…like baby’s curled grip on yours
Greet it…and it welcomes you in…like a gamboling puppy at the door …

In the sun dappled pond of my emotions…There is me…

2006-06-29T22:52:00.000-07:00

Whats in a snore?

A snore. A air gurgle trapped from the nostril to the mouth, laced with tons of snot and irrepressibly annoying. Understatement. Snorers and their snores are very annoying and a serious impediment to the well being and REM cycles of an innocent non snorer.

This agitation towards this breed of sleepopaths is triggered by spending two continuous nights in the vicinity of a rather loud and unabashedly loud snorer. It felt like some of the following and many more bad things, which I cant remember (courtesy, a sleepless night) :
- a chopper landing on my ear
- a rather loud hair dryer moving around my head in a very painful rhythm
- a rhino with a cold and me sharing the same space
- boards being drilled on my brain
- cacophony of an orchestra led by a pack of noisy apes

Hope this helps in sharing the frustrations of two sleep deprived nights.

However, now that am through with my anti snore vomit, here are some suggestions for all you out there:

- please fence yourself alone on a bed, in a room, in a house, alone
- do NOT invite house guests who are not used to your nightly cacophony
- please purchase head phones for poor unsuspecting victims
- buy yourselves elevated pillows, please get a nose operation !

2006-06-28T00:41:00.000-07:00

Borrowing days

Has it ever happened to you, that you have borrowed days from your life – when you pledge to indulge yourself in a phase ( not necessarily a vice) for a given period of time. I call it “borrowing days”…. Borrowing days happens, when I decide that in the month of November, I will not give up ice creams. It happens when I say for all week ends I shall watch movies through the night. It happens when I plan to sleep late and go to office late for a week. It happens when I wear shorts only in Goa. It happens when I intend to love someone only for a week.

Borrowing days does carry a guilt tag, but it so justifies the pleasure. And, I have been doing so all my life. But now, I have come around to wondering why do I have to borrow days from my life? Why cant life itself be? Basic question. Often asked question. Now, almost a trite and to be ignored question? And all the new age gurus have answered it. So now, livers of my generation live it up. They don’t borrow days. They vacation through the week. They believe in flexi timings. They believe in good eating. And they believe in loving till your heart says so.
But where am I on this. Borrowing days balances my life and gives me control on a life which so easily can slip through my fingers. But borrowing days almost always ends something I love and sometimes its not revivable.

2006-06-27T02:53:00.000-07:00

Magalilunel is the title of my blog…and who is magali? Magali is the name of a much loved character from a much loved book. Magali is beautiful, feminine and valiant. And I want to be all of her…magali to me is all woman because she is:

A generous giver in her relationships …monetarily, emotionally and gives herself
She has courage and fights battles with a passion, even in the face of all defeat
She is spontaneous and a receiver of small pleasures
She smiles, in her worst moments and in her happy moments
She teases friends, family and
She fights with a native intelligence
She in NOT divaesque!

Woman hood to me is pretty much this state of being…where you stretch yourself to every nook your ample being. Being a woman, gives you so much of space to explore…the psyche and breadth of emotions are so wide that a new nook almost presents itself for each day of your life. This is not abstract and I am not a feminist.

2006-06-26T23:56:00.000-07:00

compartments of my life...

my life is a compartment of sorts...my work life, my social life...and my "room" life...each so different from the other and yet so connected and driven by the events of each...a bad day at work life leaves me less inclined to catch up with a friend from my social life and leaves me in my "room" life with a drink, a book and perhaps a desire to broom out the cobwebs...a happy evening in my room life makes me rise to a shinning sun...smile through my work life and giggle through my social life....perhaps the compartments and occurences not random weaves...but a design...of my life...

2006-06-26T23:54:00.000-07:00

Mornings are chaotic…they are stressful, laced with sudden crises, and bear a painful certainty that a velvety night is over…and a day looms...battle time…armory, weaponry, courage protected…long, raw, tiresome, and draining…yup, mornings are chaotic…uhhhmm…But, for the merriment of the early morning birds, who insist on conferencing right across my window… but for the melody of a raga …strains of which I catch from the neighboring house...but for the tender admonitions of my gentle mother, rousing me to the day…but for the crackle of the newspaper in my father’s gnarled hands…but for the strong, heady aroma of home ground, chicory coffee…but, sure…mornings are stressful…

2006-06-26T22:41:00.000-07:00

I recently did a trip to neemrana … a 2 hour drive getaway from delhi and I didn’t want to come back from the fort at all. Would have happily been a willing slave or captive in that palace. What about the place was so charming…beyond the NRI luxuries? And I have come up with the following tickets, which am going to replace in my non neemrana life:
- my cell phone was switched off for the good part of the day
- I didn’t have to socialize with anyone
- the hotel rooms had minimal furniture – and period peaces
- all walls were plainly white washed
- I could wear shorts – and still felt glamorous
- there was bed coffee and eve coffee – ritual I seem to enjoy
- wasn’t eating too much and ate only at meal times
- nature, even in its most harsh form seemed beautiful
- and most importantly, I wore the beauty lens!!